Disappointment

I’m a real bitch sometimes. It may cost me some readers, but I’ll admit it. I want what I want, when I want it. And if I don’t get it, I pout. And today I’m pouting. So there.

I was promised a day of pampering. I was promised hours of pleasure to be licked and sucked and fucked. I was promised orgasms – all the kinds I mentioned to you a few days ago. I was promised multiples and games and hours, yes hours of mind blowing, heart breaking sex.

And I wanted it. I really, really wanted it. I knew there were risks. I knew things could get in the way. I know my place. I know that there are other responsibilities and I really respect them, but I really wanted to get fucked today.

It didn’t happen though. It didn’t work out. And now I’m disappointed and yes, even a little pouty.

I should be used to disappointment. I should be accustomed to not being the top priority. It’s certainly not new to me. I’ve lived with a man for a very long time that sends me to bottom of the list. I’ve been given more excuses than you can even imagine. I really wanted today to be different though.

I need to feel close to someone. I need to have that connection. I’m craving touch and tongue. I want deep kisses and full body contact. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel like he’s craving me as much as I’m craving him.

Instead, I’m whining and bitching and moaning – all the things I do not want to be. Course, tomorrow is a new day. I’m sure I’ll feel better then.