Wants and Needs

I’m independent and strong. I can take care of myself. When it comes to romance, you can leave the flowers at home. I can have sex without love and find it quite satisfying. I don’t need to cuddle afterwards. I won’t wait for a phone call or be upset if I don’t hear from you for a few days. I’ll tell you what I want sexually, when I want it. You won’t have to guess. I can keep great secrets and play all the games. I won’t require that you remember dates and times of random events in the relationship.

So what DO I want or more importantly, what do I need? Interesting question. I’ve pondered it a great deal lately. Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ve been described as “insatiable” more than once. That’s not all together true. I can be satisfied, have been satisfied. I just find that the need, the desire is back as quickly as its quenched.

What I really want though is long, deep kisses, not because its foreplay, but because you crave the taste of me, can’t wait to feel my tongue playing with yours. I want to know, instinctively that you want me and need me more than anything. I want to feel loved, even though I don’t need to hear the words. I want to see desire in your eyes, hear it in your voice. I want you to crave me the same way I crave you. I want you to want me in every possible way.

I do not seem to be able to ask for these things. It seems selfish, something I will not allow myself to be. But in not allowing myself to be vulnerable am I curtailing any chance I have of getting what I really want? Have I become so cold in an effort to be agreeable that I’ve taught those around me to not give me what I need most?

Just the things I’m pondering tonight. Next time will be sexier. I promise.